When we hurt our spouse because we are self-centered, we must realize that all of the ways we can injure our husband or wife are based on self-preservation. Likewise, when we are hurt emotionally, it is because we are at the center of the situation. Self-centeredness is a result of falling from grace. If we discover that our life is filled with bitterness and grief, and we try to come up with our own plan to deliver us from the self-centeredness that caused it, that plan will fail. To see any change for the better, we must depend totally on Jesus, not ourselves.